GLASGOW vs. BRISTOL - 3 - 0 to Glasgow!

One of the most interesting and feared matches for Glasgow so far, when we found out we were up against ‘Inkie’ ‘Andy Council’ and ‘Cheo’ you would of thought the Glasgow team would have been well prepared with sketches/concepts an compositions against these talented adversaries … No…we were not!

Artist ‘Elph’ nearly not making night at all (being on a holiday caravan trip past week! thinking battle was the original date Thursday 29 still) and artist ‘Rekor’ being stuck working on his workshop with his gallery Recoat an it didn’t help with me being the promoter still flyering clubs/bars/colleges/art school as well as carrying and nailing the 8x4ft boards for the battle beforehand! So within minuets of the battle starting the Bristol team had clearly rehearsed in their heads with what they were doing, solid lines where straight up, within moments, Inkie had his girl up wowing the crowd. Where our team, were waffling about scratching our heads getting an idea down!

30mins in, we started to add our solid lines up with a concept decided on too, we were still behind. It’s safe to say we were all touching cloth!

Eventually after an extremely fast 90min, we finished! Leaving last bit of text till last ‘Living in the Shadow of Banksy’ with a huge gorilla built rat casting a shadow on the Bristol artists fleeing and Bristol doing what seemed like a positive pro Scotland piece which I only got round to realising the next day when I became sober!!

Our judges ‘Daro’ from Monster-color paint and legendary old school Scotland graffiti artist ‘Gaz Mac’ both going for Glasgow, with one controversial judge vote stating they would of went for Bristol if it was just Inkie. Glasgow won the crowd vote by 10decibels. Giving us 3points!

Big shout out and thanks to the Bristol Artists for an amazing battle, Spectrum Dj’s, B- Tone for dropping a heavy bassy sick set during the battle and throughout the night. Convoi Exceptional with their amazing blends of live singing of Hip Hop/Electro. Camera guy Colin Wood! Carrie and her Camera Crew too, Photographer ‘Mateusz Sleczka’ the Host Bob and everyone who help out with PR also our sponsors and finally Golder who was my human ladder from the crowd to reach the high spots!

Next battle For Glasgow ‘MAY 14^th’ BRISTOL ROUND 2!

See ya there!

Conzo – Glasgow Team

GLASGOW vs. MALMO video

MALMÖ vs BRISTOL, 2nd Round - March 27th

The third year of Secret Wars has kicked off in Malmö, the art capital of Sweden!

Team Bristol lost a very controversial home game in the first round and they travelled to Sweden looking for revenge and some well needed points. Team Malmö on the other hand had surprisingly won away in Glasgow and could already smell the scent of the play-offs...great chance to stamp some authority over Group 1 with a another win..

Secret Wars Malmö has provided a tour of the city's derelict industrial buildings the last few years...and thanks to Smutsiga Södern's own Markus MacGyver the address for another crazy warehouse was discreetly revealed the night before the battle. Good job we didn't advertise it any more as over a thousand people turned up!!


After fielding a very successful all women team in round one, Malmö's coaching duo decided to give experienced reigning city champion Ossian and new boy Pagliuca the chance to shine before the home crowd. Together with Camilla they didn't hold back as her majesty the Queen got bundled with CCTV, sexual inuendo and the almost obligatory bad teeth-dizzz..

The Bristolians came back with a IKEA flatpack punchline involving the Malmö team's female viking/valkyrie character from the first round.
Halfway through the Englishmen looked to have the upper hand. More precise lines and great stage presence was weighing heavily in their favour...but as the (Casio) clock approached 90 min the Malmö team began putting their scattered bits and pieces together. In the end a very nicely composed battle wall with a great atmosphere emerged.


The judging got very dramatic as the first judge voted in favour of the away team! The crowd levelled the score before the last judge made the crowd go wild by flippin a board that said "I love Malmö".. 2-1 to Team Malmö!


That was the cue for some crazy partying and when we closed at 7am over 1000 people had been through the doors - whaaat a night!!



A big shout out and a super-thanks to Filip, Pierre, Hannah, Lina, Viktor, Antti, Martin, Karolina, Ehsan, Simon, Bengan, the amazing DJ's: Rob Love from Liljellylove, Simón & Akai One from La Onda...and everyone else that helped out!!


(Pics by Tommi Ronnqvist, Olle Guldöga & Karolina Wojcik - more to come!)