GLASGOW vs. BRISTOL - 3 - 0 to Glasgow!

One of the most interesting and feared matches for Glasgow so far, when we found out we were up against ‘Inkie’ ‘Andy Council’ and ‘Cheo’ you would of thought the Glasgow team would have been well prepared with sketches/concepts an compositions against these talented adversaries … No…we were not!

Artist ‘Elph’ nearly not making night at all (being on a holiday caravan trip past week! thinking battle was the original date Thursday 29 still) and artist ‘Rekor’ being stuck working on his workshop with his gallery Recoat an it didn’t help with me being the promoter still flyering clubs/bars/colleges/art school as well as carrying and nailing the 8x4ft boards for the battle beforehand! So within minuets of the battle starting the Bristol team had clearly rehearsed in their heads with what they were doing, solid lines where straight up, within moments, Inkie had his girl up wowing the crowd. Where our team, were waffling about scratching our heads getting an idea down!

30mins in, we started to add our solid lines up with a concept decided on too, we were still behind. It’s safe to say we were all touching cloth!

Eventually after an extremely fast 90min, we finished! Leaving last bit of text till last ‘Living in the Shadow of Banksy’ with a huge gorilla built rat casting a shadow on the Bristol artists fleeing and Bristol doing what seemed like a positive pro Scotland piece which I only got round to realising the next day when I became sober!!

Our judges ‘Daro’ from Monster-color paint and legendary old school Scotland graffiti artist ‘Gaz Mac’ both going for Glasgow, with one controversial judge vote stating they would of went for Bristol if it was just Inkie. Glasgow won the crowd vote by 10decibels. Giving us 3points!

Big shout out and thanks to the Bristol Artists for an amazing battle, Spectrum Dj’s, B- Tone for dropping a heavy bassy sick set during the battle and throughout the night. Convoi Exceptional with their amazing blends of live singing of Hip Hop/Electro. Camera guy Colin Wood! Carrie and her Camera Crew too, Photographer ‘Mateusz Sleczka’ the Host Bob and everyone who help out with PR also our sponsors and finally Golder who was my human ladder from the crowd to reach the high spots!

Next battle For Glasgow ‘MAY 14^th’ BRISTOL ROUND 2!

See ya there!

Conzo – Glasgow Team

GLASGOW vs. MALMO video

MALMÖ vs BRISTOL, 2nd Round - March 27th

The third year of Secret Wars has kicked off in Malmö, the art capital of Sweden!

Team Bristol lost a very controversial home game in the first round and they travelled to Sweden looking for revenge and some well needed points. Team Malmö on the other hand had surprisingly won away in Glasgow and could already smell the scent of the play-offs...great chance to stamp some authority over Group 1 with a another win..

Secret Wars Malmö has provided a tour of the city's derelict industrial buildings the last few years...and thanks to Smutsiga Södern's own Markus MacGyver the address for another crazy warehouse was discreetly revealed the night before the battle. Good job we didn't advertise it any more as over a thousand people turned up!!


After fielding a very successful all women team in round one, Malmö's coaching duo decided to give experienced reigning city champion Ossian and new boy Pagliuca the chance to shine before the home crowd. Together with Camilla they didn't hold back as her majesty the Queen got bundled with CCTV, sexual inuendo and the almost obligatory bad teeth-dizzz..

The Bristolians came back with a IKEA flatpack punchline involving the Malmö team's female viking/valkyrie character from the first round.
Halfway through the Englishmen looked to have the upper hand. More precise lines and great stage presence was weighing heavily in their favour...but as the (Casio) clock approached 90 min the Malmö team began putting their scattered bits and pieces together. In the end a very nicely composed battle wall with a great atmosphere emerged.


The judging got very dramatic as the first judge voted in favour of the away team! The crowd levelled the score before the last judge made the crowd go wild by flippin a board that said "I love Malmö".. 2-1 to Team Malmö!


That was the cue for some crazy partying and when we closed at 7am over 1000 people had been through the doors - whaaat a night!!



A big shout out and a super-thanks to Filip, Pierre, Hannah, Lina, Viktor, Antti, Martin, Karolina, Ehsan, Simon, Bengan, the amazing DJ's: Rob Love from Liljellylove, Simón & Akai One from La Onda...and everyone else that helped out!!


(Pics by Tommi Ronnqvist, Olle Guldöga & Karolina Wojcik - more to come!)

Warsaw vs Glasgow - 27th march

OK. The epic weekend is unfortunately over! Before I give you a recap, let me first just paste a Facebook status of Conzo (captain of Glasgow team). Here we go: „Barred from outdoor street party / lost wallet / rinsed with vodka / paint at the insanely long (1 kilometre!) hall of fame / carrying past out team members / Secret Wars battle / toasties / being screwed by clock change and just making flight / coming back 1 man short!? WARSAW cheers!!”

Scottish team visit had a perfect timing. Plenty of dope parties, nice weather here in Warsaw.We kicked off towards the weekend with an incredible outside party at Warszawa Powisle venue. African Boy was performing and almost everyone was there. Outdoor dancing, shots, shots and more shots. Let's just call this night a battle of vodka - part one.

Aight. Now we fast forward a bit to Saturday afternoon. My man Maciek took the Glasgow crew to an enormous hall of fame wall at Warsaw - Wyscigi. Already equipped with paint, the guys created some dope pieces that we hope will stay with us for a long time.

As it was the first battle in Warsaw there was a lot of pressure to get everything right. We asked Rufin MC to help. He is a seasoned presenter. After hosting hundreds of b-boy battles and high profile events like Warsaw Challange, he was the only man we considered. He was running the show with endless resources of energy, cheering both teams and providing live commentary. DJ's were playing the battle breakes. The Powiekszenie club turned out to be a perfect venue for the battle. Narrow room, low ceiling, loud, dark, humid and packed. Getting from the stage to the bar was nearly impossible.


After first 90 seconds of the battle, we were horrified to see how fast the Glasgow team created their piece. With just few strokes of the markers their characters were starting to get shape while the Warsaw team were still contemplating the outlines. However this has changed as the time passed.

The atmosphere was equally relaxed and tense. So tense that electricity circuits in the club decided to take a short break. Power was gone for about 5 minutes and the paining, and battle clock were stopped.

When the battle resumed, disses were exchanged. Warsaw crew drew a caricature of typical Scottish local wearing the kilt, garters and complete with a tiny whinnie. The 'Braveheart 'concept was laughed at, as the Warsaw team dubbed it the 'Breakheart'. The mustache of Ali didn't miss the attention of Warsaw's artist either. Glasgow team didn't hold back. They drew a booze powered mechanical warrior shooting a sign „war of vodka” in the middle and nasty caricatures of the Polish team. Basically their piece was a semi illustration / reflection of the previous night in Warsaw.

When the Rufin MC counted thru the last seconds, markers were dropped. The crowd was crazy. It was super hot and loud inside. Judges wrote their verdicts simultaneously on small white boards. The first to show his verdict was Igor known to some of you as Ash1 or the founder and editor in chief of the BRAIN DAMAGE magazine. He gave his point to Glasgow.



Then it was up to the audience. After seconds of insane noise, yelling, shouting and whistling the crowd's vote went to Warsaw. How the audience will vote is always uncertain and the Bristol vs. Warsaw battle is a perfect example of the locals giving a point to the visiting Warsaw team. Anyways, at this point of the night we had a draw. 1:1. It was up to the second visiting judge. Nawer, member of the VHS crew and curator of the art show at Cracow's Baraka club gave his point to Warsaw, changing the score to 2:1 for Warsaw and thus granting the win to the hosting city. As this decision in the opinions of many was controversial, judges were available after the battle to explain their reasons.





















As the battle mode was OFF, we switched the bar mode ON. Polish promoters of Secret Wars (www.maggnes.com - us) welcomed both teams with an open bar arrangement. The party continued downstairs with the beats provided by Soul Service DJ's, while upstairs tshirts and hugs were exchanged between the Scottish and Polish crews. Vodka was spilling everywhere. That continued until the sunrise. Vodka battle part 2.







I would like to use this opportunity to say thank you to everyone involved in making this weekend so great. I would like to great everyone from Glasgow team as they are incredible bunch of talented individuals. Warm, friendly and very chilled. Big up!
Photo by: Adam Tarasiuk, Matool, Gabi, Ola, Michal Wronski.

Secret Venue Revealed (Ssssshhhhhh!)

Tonight is the Night!!

After a week of hard work we are ready to let it all go off..

MALMÖ vs. BRISTOL
ÖSTRA VARVSGATAN 21
Doors open at 22:00, Art Battle at midnight! (Don't be late..)

A tiny little sneak peek at the new venue..

Glasgow Home Battle Dates

Glasgow Home Dates To Remember:

Glasgow vs. Bristol (WEDNESDAY) 28th APRIL @ SUB CLUB - GLASGOW

Glasgow vs. Warsaw (THURSDAY) 24th JUNE @ SUB CLUB - GLASGOW

Bristol vs Warsaw battle recap

Below you can find a short recap of the Bristol event that took place on February 24th.
That was the first ever Secret Wars battle for Poland, so we didn’t really know what to expect. Half curious, half hungry for blood and a massive party, we arrived in Bristol super exhausted after a long drive from London. First battle ever and already an away game - ”great” - this was occuping our minds. We felt the pressure.



Zbiok and Sepeusz led by captain Swanski with some other fellow Poles were definetely a minority at the venue. We knew that Inkie and his team had plenty of battle experience so we had to use some radical methods to boost peformance. Google “Vodka zoladkowa gorzka” for hints.
So, we went all out making fun of Bristol and its most famous artist Mr.B, stud parties invading Polish cities in the Summer and all things provincial that come to mind when you think ‘Bristol’.



After intense 90 minutes of drawing, no one knew what to expect as the final verdict. We, and we’re not going to lie to you, were 100% certain of loosing to Bristol. Not that we didn’t like our drawing. To the contrary. It was a masterpiece. But they were AT HOME!


The juges voted 1 for Bristol and 1 for Warsaw. So it was up to the crowd to point the finger and choose the winner. To our suprise, Bristol’s own crowd aprreciated our bitter humor and hunger for old school battle disses. The locals, mostly Mr. Inkie, didn’t accept the verdict. The heat was on. The away judge from Asia was in fact accused of being a Warsaw local. We were threathened to have our hotel burnt.


Anyways, the victory helped us gain confidence for the next battle on March 27th, here, in Warsaw. Bristol, you feel your pain but you know that was just a shy sampler of our capabilities. Get ready to feel the pain again, here in Warsaw.

As for Scotland, Conzo, we are waiting for you.